Ditch The Lingerie For Valentines Day, Give Me Chocolate!
So youre stuck celebrating another meaningless holiday and trying to fit in like everyone else by playing along. Well, you dont have to dress up like a French maid to have fun.
Buying lingerie for Valentines Day is mostly overrated anyways, not to mention its generally uncomfortable with itchy lace edges, tight compartments, Houdini- like laces and strings residing in unmentionable places.
But year after year we buy these torturous token of love and affection for that special someone. So before you set out to buy your yearly Valentines lingerie, read on.
Tips For Buying Valentines Lingerie
Always, always know what size you need before heading off to the store. Buying a sexy nightie a size too small can be disastrous for your love life, be prepared, it works for the boy scouts, itll work for you. If in doubt, dont buy at all.
Avoid the cutesie Valentines lingerie unless the recipient generally dresses in sloganized, sappy clothing. Buying an overused, tacky, phrase- plastered lingerie for a Valentines gift will only cheapen the gift and can demean the sexuality of the recipient. Its okay as a gag gift but not as a romantic one.
Try to avoid excessive lace. Lace is generally very pretty but very rough on delicate skin. Feel the material, if its not pleasant to touch, it wont be pleasant to wear for any length of time.
Unless the intended recipient wears a thing regularly, avoid buying lingerie with one. If the thong cannot be avoided, buy the thong in a size larger then usual to minimize chafing. For first time thong wearers, an adjustment period is needed to avoid damaging delicate skin.
If youre going for the funky leather, plastic or vinyl, be sure to buy some talcum powder. It will be necessary to apply the powder before donning the outfit to prevent from creating some serious skin problems.
If you are shopping at a specialty store, ask the clerk; they live for questions like yours. Dont be embarrassed, they work with the stuff and make a living off of people buying sexual aids and outfits. Theyre generally shock-proof.
While youre at that specialty shop, you may want to invest in some flavored body paints. These can be used to disguise bare skin and can be even better than lingerie. Just be sure to test them out on delicate skin before applying in mass quantities. An allergic reaction in private places can be most uncomfortable.
Confused yet? If shopping for Valentines lingerie is too overwhelming, remember, you cant go wrong with flowers and chocolate! |
